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Boozin’ Tiki bar style in Phoenix

For those of you who don’t recall… I lived in South Florida, also know as the lush capital of South Eastern United States, for time. With the year round beautiful weather outdoor drinking is part of the fabric of life for Floridians in all areas. To me nothing says drinking alfresco like a Tiki bar. The only thing better is your own private, fully stocked and very authentic Tiki bar. Yeah, that’s what I’m talking about… you know you are picturing it in your heads and if you can’t here is an image to help you along: tiki bar I know totally bad ass right? Well, now that I’ve peaked your interested let me share with you the details of a little project I’m working on at my Phoenix home.

Ok, I know you already figured it out, I’m having a Tiki bar built in my backyard. A full on, poolside, tropical oasis experience in the middle of the desert. HELL YEAH! So I hit up my a Phoenix landscaping company, Life’s A Garden and told them what I was looking for and to put together a proposal. I’m pulling out all the stops, I want this baby to seat at least 10, have the appropriate Polynesian inspire accoutrements, TV’s for chillin’ on game day and just basically getting wild pool side. They are still working on the architectural drafts as we speak so I don’t have a design comp to share just yet, but know that it’s coming.

In the interim I’ve begun the process of acquiring the appropriate bar finery and booze to fully complete such a project. I’m purchasing a wide variety of rums of all stripes, glassware sized and shaped to accommodate a proper Scorpion Bowl or Hurricane and a large quantity of paper umbrellas (come on, did you really think I would pass up the opportunity for some super cheesy kitsch? PLEASE!!!) Of course I will also be sharing images of those items as they come in. You might be surprised to find out you can’t just roll down to your local Walmart and buy some of this sh#!t.

So there you have it my boozy friends… the inside scoop on what is sure to be a fun and seriously worthwhile Phoenix landscaping design project. Check back and see how my little desert oasis landscaping project proceeds.

A friend of mine in Charlotte, NC…

So just recently I was talking to a friend of mine in Charlotte, NC. She is is north of 30 (I won’t give an exact age or, despite my not mentioning her name specifically, she will kick my ass!) and she was kind of going thru one of those phases. You know the ones, you take a look at yourself in the mirror one day and all of the sudden you realize you aren’t happy with something about your appearance. Now don’t sit there and do the whole “not me” thing. It happens to the most well adjusted of us.

So anyway, she’s looking in the mirror and decides she is no longer satisfied with the state of her smile. Now I’ve known this woman for years and she has a great smile. Regardless of my thoughts on the matter she decides she wants to look into Invisalign Charlotte. So whatever, it’s her money and her mouth, but she goes in for the consult and likes what she hears about the invisalign treatment. The cost while pricey in my opinion did not scare here off so she schedules the appointment to get her aligners made and start the treatment. IF you don’t know what Invisalign Charlotte and the treatment consist of or the benefits of it you can check out this video:

Well, long story short, she’s thrilled with the Charlotte Orthodontist she chose and the treatment so far… I mean lets face it, this is going to take a little while. The moral of the story, if you aren’t happy with something about yourself it’s within your power to fix it. Don’t be afraid to take a chance on something that might just improve your life. So there you go, my PSA for the day, peace out!

You can also check out the following sites if you want to learn more about this particular treatment:

Who says drinking isn’t a contact sport?

Like most of you I have been in training since the new year began for the most important of all drinking holidays.  Come on… you know you’ve been doing the exact same thing 😉 That’s right folk, St. Patty’s day is upon us! Those horrible green Bud Lights, shots of J’mo, parades, bag pipes, green shirts and all around drunken debauchery. Oh yeah, I love that shit too!

Enough of all that, let me get back to the original purpose of this post… In the midst of one of my training outings about 3 weeks ago I had what I can only describe as a “blond moment”. Somehow I misstepped, lost my balance (because that never ever happens) and tweaked my every sensitive back, pretty thoroughly I might add.  FML, I was miserable, popping painkillers and muscle relaxers like tic tacs, chiropractor visits, massage, basically you name it I gave it a shot. Well, I wasn’t feeling any improvement.

Fortunately for me I have some other friends of a certain age range, old F’ers like me, who has chronic back problems. Well, I was bitching about my back aches and my friend said you need to try Kyrobak. Of course I had no clue what the hell he was talking about, never heard of it. Well, I won’t get into too much detail because I’m lazy and have other shit to do this a.m., but it’s a device you use at home that can help to relieve back pain. I know, I know, I immediately called bullshit and threw a flag on the play. But, he said he had one and I could borrow it to see for myself. Well, hell, I’ll give something a try anytime I don’t have to pay for it.

Long story short, I followed the instructions he gave me on how to use this Kyrobak thing and lo and behold, this shit actually works. I had significant improvement in just 3 days. I’ll be damned who would have ever thought some internet product would actually work. It does and that’s really all I can tell you. I don’t blame you for being skeptics, I can assure you I was as well. Here is a link to some other Kyrobak reviews just to give you another place to do your homework if you have a need for a home back pain treatment. You can also check out the kyrobak reviews on this video:


At the end of the day the technology they employ is designed to replicate 2 different treatments that have been clinically proven to reduce back pain. So it you are at all like me, if you are reading a website about booze you probably are, I highly recommend you bookmark this post for the day when you are for sure going to fall and bust your shit up 😉


Three, Two, One… Time For Booze Fueled Rant Of The Day

hipster douchebags

Yes, These are the douchebag poser’s I am talking about

Hipsters are destroying good old fashion drinking! These little phonies have managed to ruin some of my favorite drinking spots over the last few years. They and their ilk infiltrate local watering holes with their flannel, mountain man bearded, folk music listening asses drinking PBR or whatever is considered “alcohol of the moment”. Next thing you know the game is no longer on TV, I’m subjected to some obscure folk music group featuring fiddle players from Appalachia (no offense intended), it’s a dude fest( or at least the women in the place look like dudes), the menu is filled with Gastro Pub styled dishes with ingredients I have never heard of and even if I had hear of I probably wouldn’t have chosen to eat.

WTF is it with their ridiculously self righteous attitudes and intolerance of anyone deemed “mainstream”. Honestly I just don’t get it… Yes, there are some really outstanding craft distillers putting out some unreal small batch liquors. But sometimes I just want a Sierra Nevada. That right there is part of the issue… Asking for a Sierra Nevada would have gotten me exactly what I wanted, now I have to sit thru the “which Sierra Nevada?” discussion. Or the question “what vodkas do you have” resulting in a what flavors, do I want my fruit muddled and on and on. Come on people really! Some days I just want a Vodka on the rocks and it shouldn’t take me 20 minutes to explain what I’m looking for… F’me!

Ok, well I needed to get that off my chest. I’m going to go have a drink in an actual bar, where an actual bartender is serving actual drinks that an actual man might order and cool off.

Drink Up Bitches!

The Impact of Internet Marketing For Your Bar

The value of internet marketing as a critical component of an overall marketing plan for a bar or restaurant has become almost universally accepted. Even staunchly tech averse, old school bar owners are giving into the steady march of technology and it’s impact on businesses of all shapes and sizes. That being said… There are still those who don’t fully understand the basic concepts behind marketing a business online. It is with that in mind that we decided to offer the following article as an introduction to the fundamentals of what is commonly known as SEO (search engine optimization).

HELPFUL HINT: If you are struggling with the operation of your restaurant or just want to get some up to strategy and tips check out the National Restaurant Association website (

Check out a video of how a  Boca Raton seo expert can positively impact a restaurant/bar business with internet marketing strategies.

Internet Marketing vs. Conventional Marketing

While many people still argue that conventional marketing techniques are the best, there can be little doubt that internet marketing techniques have revolutionized the way products reach the restaurant customers. Online marketing is carried out across an array of interlinked digital platforms (at the core of which are search engines like that make it easy for customers to find, research and subsequently share their experiences at various dining and drinking establishments. While this has been a boon for the consumer, it isn’t necessarily so for restaurant owners. These social platforms like Yelp, etc. present an additional challenge in terms of monitoring what is being said in the public. Bad reviews can spread like wildfire and destroy a business in short order. If something like this should occur to your business you can consider contacting a Grand Rapids SEO company to help you managing your online reputation.

Conventional advertising methods rely more on trying to anticipate where a target audience may reachable. In this regard local internet marketing is more of a surgical strike and thus far more cost effective to a bar or restaurant owner.

Another reason why internet marketing is perhaps the best marketing method for small and medium enterprises is its simplicity and flexibility. For an instance, apart from using a professional website to solicit for sales, a digital marketer can opt for social media marketing (these platforms are in most cases free to use unless a user chooses service enhancements) which according to numerous prominent marketers has a huge potential owing to the massive networks of social media users. In addition, it is also important to note the flexibility of this form of marketing whereby a marketer can decide to promote his/her products on multiple platforms simultaneously at a far lower cost when compared to mediums such as TV or Radio. This reduced cost allows a business to very easily test various advertising campaigns, often simultaneously, in a very economical way. This is huge for restauranteurs who operate on very thin budgets.

However, internet marketing has its own share of pitfalls with the greatest one being advertising techniques that were intrusive to end users. For example, internet users had been accustomed to the large banner advertisements like; ‘Free Ipad to the next 10 people to click on this ad’ or ‘Attention!!! You just won a free vacation to Boca Raton, Florida’ , as time has passed these efforts have become less and less effective. While these banners ads still have a place in an overall internet marketing strategy, poorly conceived, spammy campaigns have the potential to do more harm than good. of these banners gives internet marketers a bad name. While conventional marketing was not completely without it’s own unscrupulous methods such as the “bait and switch”, by and large ad placements on these mediums were by and large seen as trustworthy. Fortunately for local Delray Beach SEO experts search engine marketing has been steadily gaining credibility amongst consumers. This has added value to professionals that offer internet marketing services.


While there are some risks to be considered such as the afore mentioned social media pitfalls, in general local internet marketing offers the potential to reach a wider audience for a lower cost. That being said I believe that conventional advertising should still be used as part of a comprehensive, well rounded marketing strategy. Whatever methods you ultimately choose be consistent in the message and stay true to your brand.



Vodka… A biased opinion

Before we get the hate mail from people condemning the following post… settle down. This our opinion. We get it everyone has a preference. This just happens to be ours. With that out of the way, let’s move on shall we.

Vodka, IN OUR OPINION, is simply put the perfect booze. It is clean, crisp, mixes well with just about everything and is the spirit least likely to cause a nasty hangover.  That is an important distinction in our opinion because I think we can all agree, hangovers suck!

Of course this is not a blanket guarantee as there are many factors that can impact this. We are also keenly aware that not all Vodka’s are created equal… We are looking at you Popov and Aristocrat. Anyone who has consumed any significant quantity of any of these sub par “well” Vodkas can probably attest to this fact.

We are also not in any way endorsing any of the new breed of nauseatingly sweet flavored Vodkas that were clearly intended to appeal to 12 girls. Yep, that’s right, birthday cake flavored Vodka, coconut, toasted marshmallo, skittles and the list goes on and on. This is not Vodka, it is pure sacrilege. Whoever came up with this stuff, while an evil genius to be sure, should really be ashamed of themselves. I mean honestly, WTF! I literally cringe when I hear someone order a drink with one of these disgraceful creations (more so if it happens to be a grown man ordering it for himself, you know who you are and yes we all laugh and point when you do it ;). Ok… anyway… I’ll reign myself in or this is going to crest into SERIOUS rant territory.

The Vodka’s we are referring to would fall into the premium spirits category. For our money here is our list in order of preference and oddly enough almost in order of price point as well. Go figure. Here they are:

Tito's Vodka



Titos – United States

Stolichnaya (Stoli) – Russian

Skyy – United States

Svedka – Sweden

Smirnoff – Russian

Sobieski – Polish



How were the results tabulated you may ask? Well, weren’t you listening, this is an opinion based list. Our opinion and our preferences. Tito’s is super smooth with a nice finish. Stoli has that traditional mule kick Russian flavor profile as does Smirnoff. Sobieski falls somewhere between the Russians and the lone Swede on the taste profile scale. And Svedka leans more towards that smooth taste with a softer finish. Cost wise, both the Sobieski and Svedka are screaming bargains for larger scale consumption. Titos is more your sippin Vodka. No matter where you fall on this spectrum they can all be easily enjoyed either chilled or on the rocks.

There you have it… Our favorite Vodka’s. Count on us spending a great deal more time exploring each of these brands as time goes by. Did we mention, we love Vodka? If you really insist on an unbiased opinion check out the San Francisco World Spirits Competition website  ( )

Drink Up Bi#!hes!


Thanks for joining us, now drink up!

We are so pleased you could join us for this boozed soaked journey we call DallasMargaritaFest.Com. We are pleased to be able to take this site and continue it’s legacy  from it’s former life as the home for the Dallas Margarita Festival.  This event has changed names and is now the Dallas Margarita Meltdown and is located at it’s new internet home . We are certain the organizers will continue to have great success with this Tequila fueled fun fest.

As far as this site goes… well, that is another story. We are hoping to amuse, engage and educate you with a mix of booze reviews, drink recipes, reviews of new and established bar businesses and well just generally whatever our liquor soaked brains come up with. Why? Because we feel like it 😉 So pour yourself a generous serving of your favorite drink and settle in for some good natured fun.

drink up bitches

Drink Up Biatches!